Over the past 27 years (or more accurately, 26, since we’re pretty sure we didn’t say much in the delivery room) I’ve had this compulsion – nay, pathology – of inventing my own personal manner-of-speak, often with mixed results.
Some of you find my words, phrases or idioms fairly entertaining. Guaranteed, not as entertaining as I [...]
Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category
The Officially Incomplete JG Glossary
February 24, 2010Toyota’s Poltergeist gas pedals best thing to happen to US Auto Industry since gas pedals
January 27, 2010Toyota suspended U.S. sales of its many, many popular vehicle models – including the Camry, the best-selling car in America.
The suspension comes as a result of some gas pedals are stickier than a used condom after honeycomb penetration, causing the cars to accelerate without warning – leading to improv drag races and the occasional crash [...]
2009 – The Year in Status, Part VIII: Avant-Garde Surrealism
December 29, 2009If nothing else, 2009 was the year of the zinger. A popular place to toss off snappy, witty one-liners is the Facebook Status Update. Over the next few posts, we’ll present to you the very best. Feel free to add your own below …
The sexification of Halloween reaches the Tipping Point
October 27, 2009Halloween is so hot.
The Nigerian Nightmare Will Beat Your Ass in Tecmo Bowl
July 24, 2009Fly; meet windshield. Scissors; meet rock. Linebacker; meet Christian Okoye.
For the better part of six all-too-brief years with the Kansas City Chiefs, Christian Okoye was equal parts ballerina and bulldozer. He terrorized opposing defenses with a freakish blend of power and precision. His body moved efficiently and powerfully toward one goal – and one goal [...]
